


Saving My Last Breath For You

by Skullsai



Category: Free!
Genre: Cancer, Implied Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Possible Character Death, rintori - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullsai/pseuds/Skullsai
Summary: Aiichiro Nitori is in love with Matsuoka Rin but afraid of disappointing those around him and rejection he keeps the secret locked deep inside. He goes to college and finds out some terrible news. He's very sick and may not have very long to live. He decides to take the risk and see the only person he's ever loved and felt happy with.





	1. Fears and Reality

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of an RP i've done in the past. I would like to say in advance that I apologize if things aren't exactly correct as how they would be to real life. I did try to keep it as true to what it is like in real life. I hope that you will enjoy this story with me!

Aiichiro Nitori had been a close friend with Rin Matsuoka. He really admired the other and hoped to be as good as Rin one day. His admiration however was love too. He really loved Rin. However he never told Rin his feelings. He had grown up feeling like his feelings were wrong because of how he was raised. His parents wanted him to be succesful and bring home a wife however he didn't want that at all. He couldn't tell his parents that though. They'd be so disappointed in him so he kept his feelings bottled up. He didn't want Rin to think he was a creep for his feelings or to here that the other didn't return his feelings. He knew in his heart that Rin deserved better. Rin had so many hopes and dreams and he was lost with what he wanted. He just didn't want to be a disappointment. 

 

When Rin had left for college and to train for the Olympics it had been hard. He was left on his own without the others guidance on how to run a team. He didn't want to disappoint the other so he pushed himself hard. Iwatobi was a tough contender they unfortunately lost to Rei's team but it was a tough season. He was at least thankful that when Rin heard the news he wasn't upset. He and Rin would talk when Rin had the time. He constantly had thoughts creeping up that he should tell Rin but he always shook them away. He couldn't dare tell Rin. So he never did tell him. He graduated and went to college going for a nursing degree. His father would rather him be a doctor but he felt like a nurse would be easier for him to handle. Being in charge of people's lives was rather terrifying to him. He actually wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher but he didn't dare tell his father. Even with his scholarship his father still had to help him with school. 

 

It was two years after Aii graduated High School. He was in his second year of school pushing himself hard when things started to go wrong. He started to get really sick. At first he thought it was just a cold or from the stress. He was going to school and working at a local diner. However he got worse over the next few months. He started to look pale and thin. He was throwing up all the time and so tired. He had to call of school and work a few times as much as he hated doing so. The final straw was when he passed out at work. They sent him home and told him to go to the hospital or to the doctors. They thought it was stress too but they wanted to make sure. So the next day he went to the doctors after several tests the words that came out of the doctors mouth shocked him. He couldn't even get the words out of his mouth to respond. The doctor had told him he had stage three kidney cancer. Cancer...that was such a scary word. He wasn't sure he could be so scared of a word. Sure he was scared of rejection and disappointing people but this was much different. 

 

He had cried so much that day. He didn't want to die. He had learned enough about cancer to know that the chances weren't that great. He tried to work and go to class after that. Trying to block out the fact that he had cancer and that he was dying. However his illness had different plans. He just got worse and after passing out in class he was taken to the hospital. They called his parents and they found out the secret he had been keeping from them. Of course they were upset his mother more than anything however. He had to leave his job and pull himself out of school. He moved back home which wasn't what he wanted at all. 

 

He started taking chemo and radiation but other than it making him extremely sick and made him lose his hair it wasn't helping him feel better. He was sad and didn't want to get out of bed most days. Either he was too tired or depressed to leave. He didn't want to do it anymore and after half a year of chemo and radiation things took a turn for the worse. It had progressed to stage four cancer. The cancer had spread and surgery was a bit more of a risk. Yes there was the possibility of a transplant but so many people were on the list ahead of him. He had decided to stop treatments. He just wanted some time to be normal. No more treatments, no more needles, no more doctors. He was ready to die honestly. 

 

He had decided that he wanted to have one last adventure before he died. He wanted to go to Australia were Rin had been competing. He just wanted to see the person he loved and admired before he died. After discussing it with his parents they agreed to let him go. They helped him get a small apartment in Australia for the month. He only had a month left. He was going to try enjoy his last days on earth with the person he loved but would never know that he loved him. 

 

He flew to Australia anxious the entire plane ride there. He took a deep breath when he finally stepped off of the place and into a new country. He looked at his phone looking for some help so he could make his way to his place. He had a small suitcase with him. He looked normal to everyone because he had been wearing a wig that matched his normal hair and he wore makeup to make him look more lively. He finally found his way to his apartment and unpacked his little suitcase. It looked beautiful in this country. It wouldn't be such a scary place to die. 

 

He pulled out a small flyer he had found at the airport that had when everyone would race. He recognized Rin's team. They'd be competing tomorrow. He was going to see Rin for the first time in years. He was excited to see the other swim again. It was always something so magical to him. This trip was going to be worth it. He made sure he had everything ready for the next day before laying down to go to bed. He had a hard time falling asleep that night because he was so excited and anxious to see the other but eventually he passed out snuggled deeply into his bed.


	2. Seeing A Familiar Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiichiro anxiously goes to the building were the tournament is going to be help. He goes to the bleachers and excitedly waits to see the whole reason he came here for. Meanwhile a maroon haired male is surprised when he thinks he hears and see's a familiar silver haired male.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize in advance if the chapters are a little short I just want to section them out ^^

Aiichiro had woken up early the next day. He had gotten sick but managed to get himself to look back to normal after a while. He triple checked himself before leaving and looking for the place were Rin would be. He smiled when he finally found it and took a step into the auditorium and paid for his ticket. He went up to the stands were fans of Rin's team would be. He waited patiently for Rin to finally come out. He felt his heart flutter when he finally saw him. It had been so long. Rin was buffer and his hair had gotten longer. He honestly loved it. He cheered for him along with the others. 

 

Rin Matsuoka had been happy to come back to Australia to compete. He was looking forward to competing and hoping to bring home the gold again. He had gotten stronger and faster. He even gave Haruka a run for his money. Haruka had been by his side through this journey. He was glad that Haruka had stuck with this. He knew it was hard for him to leave Makoto but Makoto's support had kept him here. Rin was happy to have kept in touch with his friends however the one that always bothered him was Aiichiro Nitori. Aii had always been special. Maybe its how the other held him in such high regards or because he felt strong feelings for the other. However he didn't feel like Aiichiro felt the same. They had lost touch recently. He knew Aii was going to school for nursing so he probably got busy. 

 

He looked at the crowd as they stepped out to get ready to start racing. He grinned a sharp tooth grin when he heard the shouts of his name and his other teammates. He could have sworn one voice sounded like someone he knew but he quickly shook it off. He had a race to win. He gave a playful I'm going to win gesture before putting on his goggles and cap. He was up last. He always called it saving the best for last. He cheered for Haru who won his round. He gave the other a hug congratulating him and then stepped up for his round. 

 

Aiichiro watched patiently waiting for Rin to compete. He had forgotten about Haruka-senpai competing with Rin. He had always been insecure about Haruka. He felt like Rin might have feelings for the other. However he had heard that Haruka and Makoto were a couple. He was happy for them. They really were the perfect pair. He cheered for him and cheered louder when he won his race. He felt his heart quicken when he saw Rin step up. He was so excited to see the other race. He cheered happily for them getting louder as Rin took off. He took off like a torpedo. He was incredibly impressed. Rin had gotten so fast and before he knew it the others hand was the first that hit the pool. Rin had won the race. He was left in awe. This was truly amazing. It was even more impressive than high school. Rin really was amazing. This made his entire trip worth it. He couldn't wait to see more. 

 

Once they handed out the medals which Rin and Haruka both got gold he headed down to where the fans would greet the teams. He waited for the line to clear out some. He had to rest on the bleachers for a bit. He had low energy all the time and his excitement was taking it out of him. He wanted to see Rin though. He waited patiently feeling his heart beat quicker the closer he got. He smiled brightly when he saw Rin. 

 

Rin had been so happy to have won. He threw his fist up in triumph. He was grinning ear to ear when he got his medal. He was going to keep going for the gold. He always loved afterwards when they got to meet their fans. He could have sworn he saw a familiar silver-haired man but shook it off. He signed things and took pictures and then he saw him. He saw Aiichiro. It really was him. That voice...that hair it was his highschool friend and former roommate. "Aii!" He said excitedly and went over to him hugging him. "What the hell are you doing here?" He said with a happy voice. "I'm so happy to see you." He said with a big grin. 

 

Aii hadn't been expecting to see the other smile so big or even hug him. He smiled hugging the other back resting his head against the other for a second. He smiled looking up at the other. He was so happy to see him face to face again. However it was bringing back all of his feelings at full force but he knew he couldn't do anything about them. Besides Rin was really happy with the life he had. He chuckled softly at the others comment. "I'm happy to see you too. I decided to take a break from school. I wanted to visit you." He said. He lied about taking a break from school. He didn't want the other to really know why he was here. "I'll be here for a month. I'm looking forward to seeing you compete more." He said. 

 

Rin smiled and ruffled the others hair gently. It wasn't as soft as it used to be. He figured it was just stress not realizing it was a wig. "Well I'm glad to see a familiar face. I was worried about you honestly. I haven't heard from you in a while." He said. 

 

Aii grew very nervous when the other ruffled his hair knowing that it was a wig. He was thankful that it didn't come off. He gently fixed his hair and smiled. "I'm sorry about that. Things got really stressful with school. I wanted to talk to you though. I missed talking to you." He said. 

 

"I missed talking to you too." Rin said with a gentle smile. The look he gave Aii was one his team noticed rather quickly. This wasn't really like Rin. It was obvious Rin and this man had a connection. "So how about we get dinner together tonight. We can celebrate my win and you coming to Australia." He said with a smile. 

 

"Of course." Aii said with a smile. "I would love to have dinner with you. We can catch up. It's been a long time since we've seen each other." He said. 

 

"It has been a long time." Rin said with a sad smile. He then realized his team was looking at him. He blushed and cleared his thoughts. "Aiichiro this is my team. You recognize Haruka right? Or is that smile throwing you off?" He asked with a teasing manor gaining a frown from Haruka. 

 

Aiichiro chuckled and held his hand out to shake Haruka's hand. "It's wonderful to see you again, Haruka-senpai." He said. 

 

"You can call me, Haru." Haru said gently shaking the others hand. Aii looked a little thinner than normal but then again Rin said Ai had seemed stressed out with school. 

 

"Of course. You can call me, Aii." He said with a smile. He looked over at Rin who introduced him to the rest of the team. 

 

Once the meet and greet was over and they were done with the press Rin got dressed and went over to were Aii was waiting for him. "Have you gotten to try any of the foods from around here?" He asked. 

 

"I had a small sandwich I got from the local gas station near my apartment but I haven't gotten to try anything else. I know a little bit of english but I'm not really sure what to get or where to go." He said. 

 

"Well how about I show you around and take you somewhere nice my treat. We can go to the grocery store later too. I wouldn't want you to just eat gas station sandwiches." He said with a chuckle. 

 

"Thank you, senpai." Aii said with a smile. He hadn't called him senpai in forever. 

 

"You haven't called me that in forever." Rin said with a small chuckle a light blush dusting his face. "It's no problem. Let's get going." He said motioning for the other to follow after him. 

 

Aii noticed the blush a small one dusting on his own face. He followed after the other. He was excited to have dinner with the other. He just hoped that he didn't get sick. He didn't want the other to find out.


	3. Dinner With An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Aiichiro go out for dinner. They start to talk about what has been going on in their lives. However Aii isn't entirely truthful about exactly what has been going on. He just wants to have a nice dinner and enjoy his time with Rin who he thinks is oblivious to the situation.

Aiichiro and Rin ended up at a small restaurant. One of Rin's favorites since he didn't have to deal with a lot of fussing about him being in the Olympics. It was nice to be able to eat in peace. He wanted to know more about Ai and hear about how college has been for the other. He was excited to tell the other about all of his adventures and wins. 

 

Aii really liked the atmosphere of this place. He didn't see many fans or people all over Rin which was nice. It was going to be nice to have Rin all to himself. He however was nervous for Rin to ask him about college because he hadn't been going. He didn't want to let it slip. He didn't want the other to question his real motives for being here. 

 

They looked at the menu and Rin helped him pick out something since he was having trouble reading the menu. Once everything was ordered Rin began to speak. "So Aii how was college? I know you said it was pretty stressful the last time we talked." He said. 

 

"It was okay...it was stressful like I said. Nursing isn't that easy. There are so many terms to learn and it's so much studying." He said. "With working and studying I was exhausting my body. I'm thankful to have the break." He said. 

 

"You know you are looking a thinner and a little pale. It does look like it's done a lot of stress to your body." Rin said with a worried look. "Have you been eating properly?" He asked. 

 

"I...am I really?" Aii asked looking at the other. "I guess...I have lost some weight. I eat when I can but sometimes its hard to have an appetite when you're so stressed out." He said. He hated lying to the other but he didn't want to tell him the truth. How did you tell the one that you were in love with that you're dying. The last thing he wanted to do was make Rin cry or see him upset. He didn't want to be treated like a patient or a sick dying person. He wanted to be treated like a person. For months he had been treated like a weak sick person. He just wanted to be treated normal for once. 

 

"Well while you're here how about we work on getting some of your weight back. There are plenty of things to try here and plenty of treats. They have the best desert here I think you'll really enjoy it." Rin said with a grin. 

 

Aii used to have a really big sweet tooth but since getting sick the thought of anything sugary and sweet made his stomach turn. However he smiled and nodded. "That sounds wonderful." He said. "I look forward to trying it." He said. "So tell me how has Australia been? How has competing been?" He asked. 

 

Rin smiled a big toothy grin. "It's been wonderful. There are so many beautiful things to see here. Me and Haruka have explored quite a bit of it together. He's going to show Makoto around soon when the other gets to visit. Makoto's finishing up school. He's going to be a swimming coach for kids." He said with a fond smile. "Competing has been really amazing. Every race is full of so much energy and each competitor is a challenge." He said. "I'm happy you got to see me win today." He said. "It's really nice to have you here." He said. 

 

"I'm happy for him. He really seemed to love kids . I think it will really be wonderful for him." Aii said. He wished he could have done teaching or something. He loved kids too. Sadly he knew he'd never be able to have them. "I'm happy to be here. I have to admit it was really breathtaking to see you swim again. You've improved so much. I didn't think it was possible to ever be that fast." He said. "I'm looking forward to seeing you compete more." He said. 

 

"Really?" Rin asked with a shy smiled rubbing the back of his neck. "Well they've pushed us very hard to make sure we'd be winners." He said. "I've always played to win." He said. "It's a rush when you're in the water it's really an amazing feeling. Maybe we could swim together sometime." He said. 

 

Aii tried not to pale at the question. Of course he'd love to swim with the other again but he knew his body couldn't handle it. He also knew the other would be able to see what rough shape his body was in. "I'm not really a swimmer anymore. I enjoyed swimming with you but my body is weak now. I wouldn't want to hurt myself." He said. 

 

Rin frowned at the others response. He felt like something was wrong. Normally Aii would jump at the opportunity to swim with him. "Aii..is everything okay?" He asked. He wasn't sure if he totally believe the others story. 

 

"I am okay. It's just with the lack of eating and the stress it's made my body weak. I mean I look horrible. I'm horribly out of shape." He said with a nervous chuckle hoping the other wouldn't push the subject. 

 

Rin bit his bottom lip. He didn't like Aii talking so poorly about his body. "You have a nice body, Aii. I'm sure it's not that bad but I won't push you." He said. "However if something is wrong you'd tell me right?" He asked. 

 

"Of course." Aii said even though it was such a huge lie. He was thankful that the food finally came. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. He felt like Rin was maybe catching onto him. 

 

The two ate their dinner chit chatting as they ate. Aii couldn't eat much of his dinner and couldn't eat much of his desert when grew a lot of concern to Rin. He wasn't going to push the subject but something really didn't seem right. Maybe Aii was dealing with other issues? Or maybe it really was just stress. 

 

When dinner was done Rin paid for them both and took him around the town to see some of the sites around the area. He loved seeing every smile that came to the others face. It was starting to get late and they had just finished getting groceries so he offered to take the other home. He walked Aii to his door carrying some of the grocery bags. "I had a really wonderful time spending the day with you. Will you be at my next competition?" Rin asked.

 

Aii had really enjoyed their night together. He was amazed at all of the beautiful sights and different things they had here. He was thankful to have Rin's help at the grocery store since some of the things he had no idea about. Rin showed him new things to try. They had a lot of fun together and shared a lot of laughs. However he was very much ready to go home. His energy for the day was completely drained and he was sure it was showing or at least starting too. "I had a wonderful time too. Thank you for dinner and for showing me around. I really appreciate it." Ai said adjusting the groceries in his arms. He moved to grab his key so he could open the door. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." He said as he finally got the door unlocked. "You can come in." He said softly knowing the other had the rest of the groceries. He walked into the kitchen setting down the few bags he could carry. 

 

Rin followed after him smiling when the other said he wouldn't miss the next competition for the world. He looked around noticing the place was practically empty besides a couch that looked like it was already there and a small tv. The other wasn't staying here long so he understood why he wouldn't get it furnished. As long as Aii had a bed to sleep in and somewhere to cook meals he'd be happy. He set the groceries down on the counter. Noticing the small table. Well that was an added bonus. He looked over at Aii. "Well... it's late. I really should get going but I look forward to seeing more of you. Please keep in touch. I'd love to show you around more." He said. 

 

"Thank you for helping me bring the groceries in." Aii said softly with a smile. "Of course I wouldn't want to keep you out any longer. I'm sure you have practice in the morning." He said. "I look forward to seeing more of you too and I promise i'll keep in touch. You still have more beautiful things to show me." He said. 

 

Rin couldn't help but blush at how sweet the other looked and sounded. "Of course. I'll show you every beautiful thing I can. I'll see you soon. Goodnight, Aii." Rin said looking at the other for a moment before moving forward to hug him. Their eyes locking for a moment before they both shyly backed away. He felt such a strong connection but he was worried that maybe it was one-sided. He could get lost in the others blue eyes though. They were breathtaking. He cleared his throat nervously. "I'll see you soon." He said with a nervous wave before heading off and shutting the door behind him. 

 

Aii noticed the blush again and felt his heart flutter. He couldn't help but feel like maybe the other felt the same. One part of him wanted that but the other part of him knew it was selfish to think that when it would only be hurting Rin when he passed on. However the moment their eyes locked after the other hugged him he felt like he couldn't breath. He felt that connection too but he was too scared to say anything. "Goodnight, Rin. I'll see you soon. Please be safe!" He managed before the other left. 

 

After Rin was gone he locked the door and moved to take off his wig taking a deep breath. He had so many feelings going on in his mind. If only Rin knew how much he loved him. How much he wanted to kiss him and be held in those strong arms. He knew they were selfish thought. He said and moved to the bathroom setting his wig neatly on the small dresser before he went the other bathroom. He grabbed a washcloth and got it wet removing the makeup and looking at the mirror. You could see the bags under his eyes and his veins. He looked so sick and tired. He hated looking at himself in the mirror. He didn't feel beautiful at all. Why would Rin ever want to be with someone who looked so sick? He felt his eyes water and quickly finished cleaning up before going to put away the cold groceries. He barely had enough energy to do that. He knew he needed to get to bed so he quickly headed to his bed curling up under the blanket he had brought. His body hurt and he was completely exhausted. He had wasted too much energy. He knew he was going to be bed ridden for a while but it was worth it. He got to spend most of the day with Rin. His eyes quickly fluttered shut and he was out. His body thankful for the sleep.


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin decides it's time to tell Aiichiro how he really feels. Aiichiro is conflicted on whether to tell Rin the truth or to die with his feelings in fear of hurting the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This all building up to the next chapter.

Aiichiro was unable to leave his bed for most of the day the next day. He knew he had over done it. He still had a few days until Rin's next competition so he could rest until it was time. He was finally starting to feel better the day of Rin's next competition. He did the same as he normally would. He got a hot bath, put on nice clothes, put on his wig and makeup, and tried to eat breakfast. Eating seemed like a hassle but he needed to do it to keep his energy up. 

 

He headed to the same building. He was surprised to see Rin waiting for him. "Rin." He said with a smile. "I was expecting for you to meet me here." He said. 

 

Rin smiled as the other approached him. "Yeah I wanted to let you know that you didn't need a ticket. You're a close friend of me so I got it covered." He said. "I got you a nice seat too so you can see me and the team better." He said. 

 

"Rin that's so sweet but I really don't mind buying my ticket." He said. 

 

"I insist." Rin said with a smile. "You've always been one to encourage me." He said "This is me showing my appreciation." He said. 

 

Aii blushed looking at the other. "Thank you." He said softly. "I appreciate it." He said. 

 

"It's no problem. If I win this race I'm taking you to another victory dinner." Rin said with a smirk. "I mean I'll take you out either way." He said. 

 

Aii wasn't sure the blush was going to leave his face. "Thank you. I'll be looking forward to it." He said. 

 

Aii followed Rin to were he would be seated. He sat down and eagerly waited for Rin to start. Of course Rin had won his race again. Seeing Rin race never got boring. He cheered excitedly just like he had the first time he saw the other swim. 

 

Rin had kept his promise. He took the other to a nice dinner. They talked more and he couldn't help but feel his heart race. He felt like he was falling harder for the other. Every smile and laugh the other gave him made his heart melt. He just wanted the other more and more. However he knew he couldn't have him. 

 

Rin had felt the same as Ai did. He felt so connected with the other and more and more in love with him. After talking to Haru he decided he was going to tell Ai his feeling. He felt like Ai had come here for a reason. Maybe it was fate that he was finally here now. He decided he would tell him when he walked the other home. He was so nervous but also excited to tell the other how he felt. 

 

When the time came and he got to the others door he cleared his throat. "Aii, I had a really wonderful night. Can I talk to you about something though?" He asked. 

 

"I had a wonderful time too and of course what's on your mind?" Aii asked with a curious expression. 

 

"Well I've been thinking about this for a while and I just feel like it's fate that you're here. Every moment that I spend with you brings back these feelings. I really like you, Aii." He said. 

 

Aii was shocked to hear the other to hear that the other felt the same. His eyes watering harshly. The man he had loved so much had felt the same all of this time. The words he had always wanted to hear but now stung so much. He couldn't have Rin because he was dying. He was trying to find the words to say to the other. Did he tell Rin he felt the same? Or did he tell him he didn't feel the same to spare the others feelings when he went. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Rin....you don't want someone like me." He said. 

 

Rin felt more nervous every second that went by that Aii wasn't saying anything. He felt his heart sink a little when Aii said he wouldn't want someone like him. "Aii...why wouldn't I want someone like you? You're the sweetest...kindest...person i've ever met and you're very cute." He said. "I want to be with you. Please give me a chance." He said his face growing with an upset expression. 

 

Aii hated seeing the other upset. His cheeks dusted with a blush at the others words. "You...really think all of those things?" He asked. 

 

"Of course I do." Rin said gently taking the others hand in his looking into his eyes. 

 

The two's eyes stayed locked together for a while before their lips eventually met. Aii staying in the others embrace for a while. "I like you too." He said softly. "I always have." He said softly. 

 

Rin felt his eyes water heavily. He was so scared that Ai really didn't feel the same. He kissed the others lips gently. "I've wanted to do that for so long." He said 

 

"I've wanted too as well." He said. "I've honestly loved you since the day we met." Aii said. 

 

"Love?" Rin said and smiled too. "I guess love is a better word to use." He said. "I'm so happy to have you here." He said. "We can be together." He said. He had always wanted a love like Haru and Makoto had. He felt like he could have that with Aii. 

 

Aii smiled at the others words but he couldn't help but feel guilty that he wasn't totally honest with the other. "Rin....I...I'm not sure...we should be together. I do love you...with all of my heart but..." said.

 

Rin's smiled faded. "But...why not Aii? I...if you love me why can't we be together?" He asked. 

 

"I....can't....I don't want to hurt you...I'm sorry I have to go." Aii said before kissing the others cheek and quickly heading into his apartment. 

 

"Aii..." Rin said and knocked on the door. "Aii please open up." Rin begged him. He felt tears fall down his face. He sunk down by the door crying and hoping the other would open the door but it never happened. He eventually headed home feeling the worst he's felt in a while. 

 

Aii hated doing this. He hated hurting Rin like this but letting the other fall for him...and being with him when he was dying. He felt like that wasn't fair to Rin. He had to end this. He couldn't give Rin false hope. 

 

Every cry and beg he heard from the other turned him more into a mess. He felt like the worst human being on the earth. He had hurt the one he loved the most even though he was trying so hard not too. He just hoped Rin could learn to forgive him one day when he wasn't around.


	5. Panic and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiichiro and Rin continue not to talk until Aiichiro finally sends Rin a text wishing him goodluck on his race and that he was sorry. With advice from Haru, Rin decides to try and confront Aii again but what hears makes his heart want to stop. He realizes exactly what happened and is now troubled with the big heavy question of what to do and how to save the one he loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a sad one please don't hate me.

A week had went by since that day. Rin had tried to get in touch with Aii but he wouldn't respond. Aii couldn't bring himself to talk to the other. It pained him to ignore the texts and the knocks on the door. The entire reason he had come here was for Rin and now he had Rin and everything he could have ever wanted but he was dying. He wasn't going to be able to enjoy it. He knew Rin wanted forever and he couldn't give him that. He knew Rin would want kids and he couldn't give him what he wanted. 

 

With his emotions being all over the place he started to get worse. He barely left the bathroom all week. He wanted to try to see the other swim but he was really taking a turn for the worse. He grabbed his phone and sent the other a small text. 

[Text]: Goodluck....i'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

 

Rin had been a mess. Everyone on his team could tell that something was wrong. He just couldn't wrap his head around why the other didn't want to be together. They both loved each other so it just didn't set right with him. He tried to focus on swimming but it was hard. He wasn't even sure if he had it in him to race right now. 

 

Rin had heard his phone go off quickly checking it to see if it was Aii. He read the message when he saw his name. He guess that meant Aii wasn't going to be coming. He didn't have it in him to text back. He put his phone away sighing and trying to ignore Haru's concerned expression. 

 

"You should try to go see him after the race today. Something doesn't seem right. Surely something is going on with him." Haru said. "You said he was looking thin. Maybe he's not telling you something." He said. 

 

Rin listened to the other and felt a little sick. "You're right. I'll go see him once this race is over. I'm going to win it for him." He said taking a deep breath. 

 

Rin did just as he said. He won the race but just barely. Everyone was surprised that he seemed slower than usual. That he seemed very distracted. It wasn't like Rin not to give it his all. He quickly headed out the moment he was allowed and went straight to Aii's knocking on the door. "Aii, please open up." He begged. "I can't do this anymore. I need to know the truth." He said. 

 

Ai hadn't expected the other to come back. He was still in the bathroom and felt like he could barely move. He was feeling a lot of pain and the room felt like it was spinning. He used the rest of his energy to get up to try to answer the door but he passed out before he could make it. A loud thud could be heard.

 

Rin felt his heart drop the moment he heard that thud. "Aii!" He yelled knocking on the door louder before he finally panicked and called for the police and an ambulance. He watched as they busted down the door. He felt like he couldn't breathe when he saw Aii's body on the floor. What was going on? "Is he going to be okay?" He asked with a panicked tone. 

 

The paramedics quickly went over to him and picked him up putting him onto the stretcher. He had a light pulse. "We have to get him to the hospital. What's his name we're going to need to get his records." One of them asked quickly. 

 

Rin had tears already falling down his face. "His name is Aiichiro Nitori. He's visiting from Japan." He said quickly. He begged them to let him come with them but he had to have an officer take him instead. He felt so sick to his stomach. He couldn't lose Aii. He just got him back. He waited anxiously in the waiting room for him. 

 

The doctor came out to find Rin. "Are you here for Aiichiro Nitori?" The doctor asked. 

 

"I am here for him. Is he okay? What happened?" Rin asked. 

 

"It seems as though he didn't tell you. His records that were sent to us shows that he has stage four kidney cancer. His kidney's are failing. Unfortanetly unless we can find a donor soon. He's not going to make it. We have him stable for now so you can possibly say your goodbyes. My deepest apologies." He said. 

 

Rin felt like his world stopped. Aii was dying? He was going to lose him? That's why he didn't want to get more serious. It was all making sense now. "Can...can I give him mine? Is there any way we can see if I'm a match. Please." He begged. "I would do anything for him." He said. "I don't want him to die." He pleaded. 

 

The doctor thought for a moment before speaking. "We can test you. I have to warn you. If you are a match you're not going to be able to swim until you're healed." He said. He knew that Rin was a swimmer in the olympics. 

 

"I don't care. I'd give it all up for him." Rin said. "Please test me." He begged. 

 

The doctor could tell how serious he was. "Let's take you back then." He said. They took him to the room and did extensive tests. He finally heard word that he was a match. He didn't have to think twice before telling them to go ahead with the surgery. He called his coach and let him know what was going on and apologized that he wouldn't be able to compete but thankfully he understood. His coach having lost his mother from cancer. 

 

Several hours passed and Rin finally woke up in a room with a groan. He looked over slowly hearing the sound of monitors filling the room. He noticed their was a small man in the next bed beside him that had no hair. It was Aii. He looked like he was in such rough shape. The thought that he could have so easily lost Aii forever really hurt him. He wished that Aii would have told him but he understood why the other didn't tell him. He was probably afraid of scarring him away. 

 

He waited patiently for Aii to wake up. It was a few hours but Aii finally woke up groaning softly as he looked around the room. It was bright in the room so at first he thought he really had died but he heard the monitors. He realized that he was in the hospital. The last thing he remembered was Rin knocking on the door. He must have called for an ambulance. He was thankful that Rin had called them. He knew he didn't have much longer to live but at least he didn't die on the floor in his apartment. He looked over seeing if Rin was in the room before catching sight of Rin in the hospital bed next to his. "Rin..." He said weakly. "Did you get hurt are you okay?" He asked. He was more worried about the other than he was about himself. 

 

"Aii." Rin said thankful that the other was awake. "I'm so thankful that you're awake....you scared me. I was so afraid I was going to lose you." He said his eyes watering harshly. "You should have told me. I would have understood." He said. 

 

Aii's eyes watered harshly. So Rin had found out about his cancer. Then it hit him he wasn't his wig and he hadn't been wearing makeup that day so he really could see just how sick he was. "I'm sorry...it's just....how do you tell someone you love that you're dying....that you can't be with them forever..." He said his voice starting to shake. "I...i'm only here a month because that's how much longer I have to live...it may not even be that long anymore. I've been getting so sick." He said. "It was stage three and then it went to stage four after several months of chemo and radation...I just didn't want to be in pain anymore. I didn't want to be seen ass someone who was so sick...I wanted to spend my last moments with the person I loved until my very last breath." He said tears falling heavily down his face. 

 

Rin was a crying mess as he looked at the other and moved his hand gently their beds being close enough so that he could hold his hand. "Aii...I love you so much...and it made me sick to hear just how close to dying you were. I was afraid I was going to lose you...they said you needed a kidney transplant because yours were failing so I begged them to take one of mine if we were a match." He said. 

 

Aii felt like he couldn't breathe. That's why Rin was in the bed. He had given him one of his kidney's so he could have a chance at living. He cried heavily. "I love you too.." He said. "I will...never be able to thank you enough for what you've done....but...won't this ruin your career...I never wanted you to have to stop doing what you love for me." He said. 

 

"Aii, you are my future and if I can give you a better life or even just a little more time by giving you my kidney then I'd do it over and over again. You are my world and if that means I can't finish the competition and compete then im okay with that. I'll have other chances to swim. I'm never going to have another chance to spend the rest of my life with you if I didn't do something to make that possible." He said.

 

Aii was honestly surprised by the others words. He had never expected for Rin to love him back and for him to do something like this for him. "I promise I will keep no more secrets from you and I will spend the rest of my life with you as long as you'll have me." He said moving to hold the others hand in his.

 

"I'll have you forever then." Rin said with a smile before gently squeezing the others hand in his. He was determined to have a future with Aii. He knew Aii was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He knew nothing else would make him happier.


End file.
